renewal

I think this is a good sign...i've seen quite a few of these blooms out lately. This only reinforces to me that my decision to move back to the west coast after tolerating the living hell that is the alberta frozen tundra...was a brilliant one. It has been a ridiculously mild winter and word on the street is that it is causing a little anxiety over in vancouver...winter Olympic city! Anyway, these little signs of impending spring really do invoke a sense of renewal and possibility somehow. Even out here it feels like we still hibernate through our 'winter'...cocooning inside and navel gazing. But now i'm preparing for an almost imminent move, as mentioned earlier. 'Preparing' involves a number of things; sorting (yet again) through tons of effluvia that i move from place to place, some of which is still in storage in the basement as i grew tired of unpacking, only to pack up and move again. It also involves detaching myself from this city...although in some ways i feel like i've barely settled in...i comfort myself by imagining the possibility that i'll return when my studies are finally finished. Anyway, mentally preparing has become a little more daunting than i'd imagined it would be as I will be returning to the city that saw me through some major life transitions while i went to art college. Not only that, but i'll most likely be returning to my old 'hood, mainly so i can walk everywhere again and drive less (not to mention the insane parking prices will make driving to school impossible anyway). I'll also be moving into a tiny bachelor suite as prices in Vancouver are fairly prohibitive, especially downtown...this means scaling waaay back and putting more in storage. Despite this change i'm looking forward to concentrating on 1) my studies (finally offered full time) and 2) my painting...which i think will really take off in a more vibrant environment (that is, if i still have time after school)! It will be a huge, new phase...one which holds a little trepidation but a lot of anticipation and excitement and renewal.

“Nature often holds up a mirror so we can see more clearly the ongoing processes of growth, renewal, and transformation in our lives.”

Mary Ann Brussat

letting go

Sometimes it's hard to let go...old ideas, old ways of doing things, old ways of thinking and seeing. Sometimes it's hard to imagine your life changing, a little...or a lot. With every outside change comes inner movement and growth, hopefully. I have a tendency to get caught up in my own inertia and let it drag on much longer than is healthy, but i know that change is ever present. I generally welcome it, but it's hard to escape the poignancy of the past. It means letting go of the me that was, the picture of myself in a certain context and all that goes with it. Anyway, this is where my head went when looking at this picture of an apple tree in my yard...mid winter and apples still hanging on, not knowing it's time to move on...this made me laugh but it's true yes? Just some 2:30 a.m. musings, and i leave you with this quote:

Some think it's holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it's letting go.
Sylvia Robinson

walking meditation

So, i'm not going to admit that i made any crazy fitness resolutions this year (or did i?) but i am going to make an effort to get outside and walk more. And to be honest, not to make an effort to enjoy the scenery here is criminal, really. I have also heard that walking is not only good exercise, but is meditative...i believe it was Julia Cameron of The Artist's Way fame that first introduced the concept to me a bazillion years ago. Anyway, i am hoping that i will have some mini epiphanies on my little treks in the future. Of course i took my camera with me and a small notepad and pen just in case i felt inspired. I also took my bank card just in case i coincidentally ended up at my favourite coffee shop too ;D As i meandered through the surrounding neighbourhoods i was reminded of the reason i chose to live on the west coast (or wet coast today)...the sheer beauty of the old homes, the lush vegetation, the outdoor markets and the mild, damp weather (with intermittent sun today). I was inspired to take some pictures and jot down a few notes before heading back home, coffee in hand. This walking thing really forced me to 'look' again, like i used to when i was a photography major, and find the beauty in the everyday. As i got closer to home i noticed a dead raven on someone's lawn and although i am a very self conscious photographer, i took a picture because even in death, it looked beautiful. I was hesitant to post it here but it is part of the wonder of everyday life...'in the midst of life we are surrounded by death...' maudlin i know, but when you open your eyes you see it all for better or worse.




That we find a crystal or a poppy beautiful means that we are less alone, that we are more deeply inserted into existence than the course of a single life would lead us to believe. John Berger

in with the new!

Happy 2010 everyone!
I hope you all had a lovely holiday season and wish lots of love and luck and fun and creativity and happiness and dreams for all of you! I have to say that I'm kind of relieved 2009 is over, it was incredible and also somewhat incredibly unusual...but in some very good ways, i'll leave it cryptic. Suffice to say that i learned a lot about myself, others, the meaning of friendship, what creative support feels like, how rewarding it is to get into the studio as often as possible and how not to fear the unknown. Mind you i can't say i have feared the unknown in awhile, the unknown seems to be my new pal...a slightly annoying, dependable pal, and i'm cool with that. There's something very exciting about not knowing what lies ahead and feeling that spark of endless possibility. If you're one of those people that believe that your destiny is in someone else's hands, then this is a comforting thought i suppose...not saying i am but i like the idea that if i kind of go with the flow, that path that is supposedly always there, will pop up under my feet when i need it. Theoretically. Anyway, i did draft a few of those pesky resolutions, to use as a rough guideline for the year ahead:

1. obtain solo gallery show, become overnight success and sell out
2. start school full time in a couple months, heartily supported by student loans
3. succeed in attaining peak fitness, take on world
4. take one fabulous trip and become truly enlightened...write a book about it

How about you?

PS: i was featured on a really cool blog, have a look! And thanx so much to zoie for featuring me!

"The moment of enlightenment is when a person's dreams of possibilities become images of probabilities."
– Vic Braden

creative blocks

It happens to everyone at some point...the blank canvas mocks you, the jewelery making supplies start to collect dust and the cats spend more time in the studio than you do. I hear this plaintive wail time and again 'why am i not inspired to create?' As mentioned in an earlier post, i ended up having to recruit a friend to kick my butt into gear, inspired or not...having a 'creative coach' of sorts, to hold you accountable, can often be the solution. However, if you don't know how to proceed and feel uninspired, then what?

Some things I do to get the creative juices flowing:
1) flip thru some inspiring mags, ones i like; Juxtapoz, Canadian Art, Modern Painters
2) pick a section on etsy to look thru, sometimes just seeing the beautiful work is enough to inspire me to get moving
3) get out and do something unusual; go to a flea market, walk around somewhere you've never been, go to a poetry reading!
4) gallery openings - look at those little red dots next to the work that's sold...that's always inspiring!
5) rent a movie featuring an artist; Basquiat, White Oleander, Life Lessons, Short Cuts, Surviving Picasso
6) just going into the studio and tidying up, washing my brushes (i'm so bad at staying on top of this...not good with oils) can be enough to get me started

What do you do to pull yourself out of an uninspired funk?

”The artist is a receptacle for emotions that come from all over the place: from the sky, from the earth, from a scrap of paper, from a passing shape, from a spider's web.” Picasso

nothing endures but change

Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.
King Whitney Jr.

So, looks like change may be in the air again...i recently made the decision to continue my studies in Vancouver (a mere 1.5 hour ferry ride from here) if possible. I have given this city 2.5 years and am conceding defeat. I did accomplish a lot in that time, however, finished a year in art therapy and started a master's degree, so it hasn't been a waste of time or anything of that ilk. But finding work on the island is a challenge at the best of times, and with the economy taking a nosedive, it has become almost impossible. I have been limping along, taking one course at a time and getting further and further behind in finishing this degree. A full time course has been offered in Vancouver starting in January and i'm going to just dive in and get this done. Part of me is incredibly excited as i have lived in Vancouver before and always loved it (minus the commuting traffic) and i look forward to taking a full course load finally and immersing myself in my studies. Part of me is a little trepidatious (apparently that's not a word) and hoping this decision is the right one. Although i know there are more opportunities there; jobs, contacts, some galleries i want to try to get into...and vancouver feels like home to me. But the one thing that always vexes me is...how do you know when/if you're making the right decisions? Each decision you make reverberates...veering your life off course, or on course? Do you ever know which road is best taken?

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth...

but what does it mean?

So...i finished another painting over the weekend, a fairly decent accomplishment considering it's painting #9 in something like 4 months, i think now...not counting the smaller ones in my shop. If you knew me you'd realize what a huge deal this is for me as my production is usually somewhat...uh, slowly released over time. Anyway, i hung it up with the others and stood back to have a look. I tend to have a love/hate thing going on with my work so one day i may be in love with my new painting or even all of them...the next day i can easily hate them all and feel like a...the opposite of an artist. So i'm looking at this latest body of work and i can see the dominant theme which can loosely be described as female figure in mixed media mindscapey stuff (i'll have to polish that up into a swanky artist statement at some point). And the longer i look at it all, the more obvious the general theme and mood becomes and i start to wonder 'where the hell is this coming from?' I tell myself that i create on the fly now (i used to plan my work out loosely first) and that i merely choose my imagery for aesthetics and of course some personal meaning and the colours are chosen instinctively but also for aesthetic reasons...and then i remember that i learned in art therapy that nothing is random...every image and mark and colour come from some place...and to be honest, that can be quite the revelation! And the odd part of all of this is that, when i paint, i often don't have a clue what any of them mean as i'm doing them and i don't 'figure it out' til much later. Anyway, it got me wondering about others' processes and where they (you) draw your inspiration and is your art one big cathartic visual diary of sorts? Or something else? A small detail of my latest piece can be seen above...subtle? ;D

oh, and thanks for all the comments you guys, i love reading them! and also thanx for taking part in my mini poll...looks like the majority create when they're feeling good! i've also listed a new mini painting in my shop, along with a couple new ACEOs.